Harder then I thought :(

I know what you are thinking. This is supposed to be a blog about me losing weight, but really it is much more. It is about me being a wife to a Marine, and a mom to three great kids too. Sometimes this comes at a cost. Of course sometimes this is a blessing too. I love my life, but sometimes I am sad and confused. I want to make this clear from the beginning I support my Marine 110% We bleed red, white, and blue. Of course sometimes I see "civilian" families and say I wish I had that life.

My husband has been away so much of our marriage. I knew what I was getting into when I married him, but that doesn't make it any easier. Now as we approach our next deployment all I keep thinking is why? Why does he have to go again? Why can't he stay with me and my kids? Why do I have to be the one to hold the pieces together? Why do I have to explain to the kids that daddy loves them even though he isn't here. Why?

I know why. I met this wonderful man who is serving his country because he loves me and my kids so much. He doesn't want to go away and die for me, but if God feels it is his time he will gladly lay down his life to protect us. I fell in love with a man I swore I never would. After all I never imagined I could be a military wife. Of course God decided I was the perfect lady for the job.

So I will have my days, and believe me I will have more then two, that I hate that someone has taken my husband away from my family. Heck today is one of those days. I can't even look at my husband without crying or being angrey with him. It isn't my fault and it isn't his either. It's just the job that God knew we were meant to do. I will stand strong, but I will have my weak moments too.

Please don't judge me and say I chose this life. Please do not complain to me when your spouse goes away for a long weekend work trip. Please don't tell me you feel sorry for me. And please tell me you would never fall in love with a man in uniform and give up your life for them. Oh and don't tell me you would never do that to your kids. I never thought I would and now I have been married for 11+ years to a wonderful Marine, and now we are about to embark on our 5th deployment. Yes this is hard, but we will get through it...as a loving family.